So I’m reading Jen Hatmaker’s Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Yowza.
Besides being a funny and engaging author, Jen has a real gift for drawing you into her journey. This is a really special level of sharing. Where many authors succeed in talking “at” their audience, and a few even manage to get their audience to talk back, she makes you feel like you’re experiencing the process right along with her. I’m amazed.
Anyway, I’m reading Seven, and beginning to think pretty deeply. I’m a pretty introspective person anyway, but if my usual introspective thoughts are crackers, I’m currently chowing down on steak.
Have you ever felt like you should be… I don’t know… further along? Like, with everything you’ve seen and learned and done, you should be a better or wiser person than you are? I feel like the last several books I’ve picked up have actually been a couple of steps behind me. I found Jen’s book several months into my own experimental mutiny. Every mentor or counselor I’ve chatted with recently has talked about things I’m already learning/have already conquered (I think). Even listening in church, I find myself checking off mental lists – “Yup. Been there, learned that. Next?”
Now please don’t get me wrong. I certainly don’t feel like I’ve arrived. (And as a general rule, believing that you have is a sure sign that you haven’t.) But I just don’t feel challenged. I do know better than to wish for a new mountain to tackle, but I also hope that my current “maturity upgrade” would make itself more clearly known. In the meantime, I can’t shake the feeling that I should have moved on by now.
That is all. Thank you for attending my stream-of-consciousness jam session.